Jibberish of a broken heart

I can speak the words, but only as if it were a story that was not my own.
I cannot think the thoughts for they are real.
The pain and fear is unimaginable.
I cant even let myself feel what could be real.
I am numb in a plastic way. Hollywood numb.
Acting.
This is not what was planned.
I live in a bubble where I dont fit in and the one person who makes me feel like its ok may not be here for as long as I need her.
On edge.
I cant slip.
I am strong and needy.
Warm me up.
Unwrap me and breathe me.
Hold me.
I am breaking inside.
Everything that I know.
Everything that I love is being threatened.
Cannot crack.
The cause is more important to protect than myself at this point.
11.
Unconditional love.
My best friend.
I cant handle this.
My biggest fear coming to realization.
I am dying inside.