Born this way

How beautiful in my way 'cause God makes no mistakes. I'm on the right track; baby, I was born this way. - lady gaga

I'm going to be ok.

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What makes up my heart.

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Time stands still

As I sit in my silent cell I can hear the sound of life close at hand, but my world continues to stand still. There is no time here. It just feels constant.

The world does not have me and I do not have it.

Inside is a feeling of nothing. Empty. Vacant. Deserted.

No wants or needs. No hopes or dreams. Silence.

A fortress I have built that withstands time.

Day turns to night.

Night turns to day.

I sit in my silent cell and hear the sound of life. Not my life. Not my world.

Not now.

Not ever.

Looking for answers

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."

Unknowing

There are so many things that we don't know in this life and yet we all go about our day like we do. Like we have any control over any of it when the real bottom line reality is that we don't. Why does it take something so big and so uncertain to catapult us into that reality? And still once in that reality you still struggle to find a concrete tether to hold you there. Continuously trying to be in control and change the outcome of what is already set. Tori Amos said it best “Cant stop what is coming. Cant stop what's already on its way”.

In my heart of hearts I know that I believe that everything happens for a reason and that there are no mistakes in life. I get reminders of this daily, but somehow my logical mind refuses to believe it and therefore I cannot live in the now. For the moment. Only that moment with no expectations for the future or regrets of the past. Just being there and soaking in everything around us, but only what is present and real right then.

There are so many distractions in our lives. Text messages, phone calls, computers, radio, TV… the list could go on and on. How is our mind (singly and universally) ever supposed to be able calm enough to connect with the universe which in turn would connect you to living in the moment.

I think the monks have it right. And the Buddhists.

I want to be connected. I want to be able to enjoy each moment for what it is and without worry of what might be next. I crave this, yet I feel too affected to achieve it. Breathe. Just Breathe.

Losing it

I saw this and thought it was great.

If you're thinking ugh, it's only Tuesday, think how Tuesday will look to you tomorrow. In other words, when you look back on today, will you regret that you didn't make more of it? This day, and every day, is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to do something special, unique, and important. Whatever you do, small or large, will add something to what your life becomes. So by the weekend, when you look back, you will know that what you did with each day created your present moment. Keep that in mind if you want to feel pride rather than regret by Sunday.

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