The why

It took me forever agonizing over a name for this blog. I picked Hermafriditing Effervesant because it explains everything. I picked the background of grass and a flower or the sun or something simply because it looked like where I wish I were right now. Escape. I am sitting here chewing the inside of my lip like a canibal in waiting. The washing machine is roaring in the background feels like its pleading with me to just let it die already and all I can think of is how I wish I were Oprah. I wonder if she really feels they way she comes off to feel or how I assume she would or should feel. I wonder. I dont even mean for the financial reasons. It has nothing to do with money or..... maybe it does?, but that is kinda what I want to know I guess. Like, how does your heart feel? Your soul? Do you feel lonely? Oh hell I have no idea what the fudge I am talking about. My mood changes from one second to the next. So much right now. Lord have mercy.